August 28, 2008

multicultural wedding

all dressed up and happy

Earlier this year our friends asked our son to be a participant in their June wedding. We were touched, and once we explained the honor to our son, he was excited to get a new outfit and hold hands with another little boy as they walked down the aisle together. My friend Anna was the bride, and she thoughtfully sent a navy bowtie with white polka dots for all the boys to wear. For our son’s wedding debut, I picked up his first pair of dress shoes, and my husband bought him a new suit. When the big day arrived, I think he was as excited as the bride and groom! He looked so proud and handsome.

As sweet as the children’s precious entrance and toddle down the aisle were, from my perspective, the best part of the day came during a key moment of the ceremony itself. Anna is Jewish, and her husband Kaamil is Muslim. She grew up in Santa Cruz, California, and he in Minneapolis, Minnesota, although his parents are from India originally. Anna and Kaamil had been married in a small, Muslim ceremony almost a year earlier. The day we were witnessing was a Jewish ceremony and familiar “American” reception, with a lot of Indian flavor thrown in: beautifully dressed Indian women in saris, marigolds all over, and amazing food for lunch. To close the ceremony and fulfill a Jewish tradition, Kaamil was tasked with smashing a glass wrapped in cloth. Our son was captivated by this and asked us about it for weeks after the wedding: “Why did Kaamil step on that glass? Did it break? Did anyone get hurt?”

Given his age, my son was not yet ready for an abstract discussion about tradition or religion. However, we thought he would understand that, “at some weddings, the groom steps on a glass and breaks it. That lets the guests know that it’s time for the party to begin.” But I think, for the children (and for many of the adults), the party really started when they laid eyes on the tower of coconut cupcakes and set foot on the dance floor. It was a fabulous day!